only if we run a train.
done.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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