Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
