I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
