well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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