what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
