Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
