we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
