Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
