so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
