Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
