Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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