We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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