he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
