are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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