there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
