somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
