Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My vagina is officially offended.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
