Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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