I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
