I CAN MOONWALK!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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