the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
