If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
