She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
