yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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