ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
