The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
