I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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