who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
