I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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