She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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