My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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