At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
