She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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