he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
