when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
