sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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