ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
