I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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