So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
