K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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