Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
