You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
