This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
