Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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