when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
