Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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