i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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