You made eat vitamins until I threw up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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