I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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