Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
